Jackie Da Gurl Dat Luved Gov (&Merle &Daryl) Ft Macklemore & Satin
by lmaodarlinguniverse
Summary: One day Jackie comes back from a run to find the prison engulfed in flames. Assuming that everyone is dead, including her lover, Daryl, she storm off in a panic leading her into a devastating car crash. What will become of poor Jackie? Find out!


I went outside and I let the hot sun tan me. Today I was going to make a run bc Ricks baby needed diapers and food so I figured it'd be cool if I went. I was walking out of the prison yard and my boyfriend Daryl Dixon walked out. "Hey Jackie, do you want me to go on the run with you?" I shook my head no. I explained to him that I was getting too stirred up in the prison and just needed to get out and get some zombie air. He said okay and gave me a kiss and he went to go talk to Glenn. I drove into the town and got all the stuff for everyone and came back a couple hours later. I pulled up to the prison yard and the whole prison was on fire. I started crying. Everyone was dead and that meant that Daryl was dead too. I sat in the car and cried and cried. I couldn't take watching the prison burn so I drove off. I was crying so hard that I wasn't paying attention to the road and I hit a walker. The car started getting all spinny and it was kinda funny bc that really old song that goes u spin my head right around started playing and i started laughing and i crashed and almost died and went into a deep sleep.  
>I woke up tied to a bed and it freaked me out so I started crying and someone walked in and walked out. They must have told their boss king guy that I was awake bc they came and got me and took me into an empty room. The room was really old bc I was sneezing really bad and making my allergies really bad. Someone came in and I asked for a tissue and they got really mad and yelled and I told them that they were lucky that my mom and dad were eaten alive bc they would sue him.<br>But anyway grumpy guy left and this new guy came in. He was really cute so I perked up and smiled. He started being really mean but thats okay bc I like mean guys bc I'm really insecure about myself. The guy asked me my name and I told him it's Jackie with an 'ie' not a god damn Y so get it right you asshole. He told me his name was Murle and I was like cool. He asked me a bunch of weird questions like where did i come from and who was i staying with. I was still really sad about the fire so I didn't want to talk about it and i guess that made him mad bc he stood up and threw me against the wall and I was like hot damn and grabbed his balls.  
>And the Murle guy was like mmmm grunt grunt and we started banging and it was cool and then the gov walked in and was like wtf are you doing and I was like "YASSSS MURLE YASSSS." and the gov walked over and put his thing in my butt cave. He pushed it in very slowly and looked me in the eyes with his one good eye and said "I better bring some torches there might be creepers." and I was like omg you play minecraft we should totally make a build sometime and then he came all over the place and then Murle came and was like YEEHAW GIDDY UP PONY and then he was like do you wanna live with us and i was like hell yeah so then we went to bed and stuff.<br>I woke up and I was pregnant with the govs baby and murles baby and I was like guys I'm pregnant in my vag and in my butt and I was really mad bc I had to poop but i was too scared to. Murle told me to hush and said that his brother came to visit and he wanted me to meet him so i did. My jaw fell off when I saw his brother it was Daryl. But then I was like oh no i fucked his brother. But I ran up to daryl and kissed him and was like the fire tho and he explained what happened and I was like oh okay lol. There was too many walkers so they had to burn the place down.  
>Daryl noticed I was preg and started crying and I was like no its okay so I took him to the bed room and we banged so then I got pregnant in the vag two times and once in the butt. After we had sex I asked him where everyone else went and he said that they were all to gay for him and they were killing his redneck swag so he took all of their weed and bailed. So we cuddled in bed and smoked a bowl and we were really high and then a walker busted in and we offered him a bowl and he smoked with us and stuff and we listened to Fall Out Boy. When the walker started to sober up he was like I have to go guys and went off to do zombie things.<br>Just then Merle came in and started screaming at Daryl calling him a stupid little brother and him and Murle started fighting and beating eachother up but Daryl forgot that his brother had a cool pirate hand and Murle stabbed him and killed him. NOOOO I cried splashing his blood over my beautiful blonde hair. "Murle I am pregnant with baby." I cried. "All the babies." I started giving birth out of my butt. I ran out of the room to tell the gov that his baby was coming.  
>The gov cried tears of fatherness as he help is beautiful poop butt anus baby. "We shall name her Indiana bc I dig Indiana Jones" I nodded and told him that Daryl was kill and he got some of his dudes to remove the body. Taking care of a baby is rlly hard. I got mad bc I offered it the bong and it's puff puff pass but that lil bitch didn't puff at all like son, I have some good ass kush what's your problem. But anyway me and Merle and the gov were all in love.<br>I woke up one day bc the baby was crying but when I walked into his room I saw Macklemore singing him back to sleep and I threw him a thumbs up and said "Thank u unclemunkle" Then I went into labor with my two vag babies and Macklemore delivered them. I was screaming really loud and Merle got mad when he came in but he began to cry when he saw his vag baby laying in unclemukles arms.  
>Then Unclemunkle exploded and the great lord satin came out. I was scared but then I lol'ed bc satin and I are brodudes. He slapped me some skin and told me that my baby was cute. I thanked him and he admitted that he only stopped by to get my afterbirth. I ripped it out and gave it to him. I asked him if he wanted to stick around and smoke one but he said he had to get home and feed the afterbirth to his satin doge.<br>Merle held his baby boy in his sexy strong arms. 'His name is Funkle the King of Gods." It brought tears to my eyes bc it was a beautiful name. I called gov into the room with Merle. Gov of carrying Indiana. "Guys." I said smiling with my teeth and my tooth hole. "We should all get married." They agreed so we all got on our knees and prayed until the home owners association came because of complaints that our grass was too tall and that our pool was a mosquito breeding ground. But thankfully he also brought us the mail and god had sent us our marriage papers. We were all married. At the ceremony we invited all our friends and we all got really stoned and wasted and cross faded and shizz. lmao the end. 


End file.
